But this festival has gotten me thinking about other, less true [and possibly even MORE true] stories about animals, and Imma tell you them right now, to enrich your life maybe, but more likely just to give you some excellent anecdotes to tell people you are sitting near at the circus.

Imma start with telling you guys about the most exciting homeless man in Galway City. Anyone who has ever spent any time in that glorious place knows that the Galway homeless community is a community that just keeps on giving. Very few members are actually homeless, but they are all very exciting. Characters such as Knacker Dwarf, and Warty Nora, who is famous for saying such things as ‘I’m not Romanian’, as if that will make what she is doing any less illegal, and for crashing wedding photos. This lady can tell you some amazing stories about life, except you will never have a clue what she is saying because she is totally covered in warts, even on her tongue. But even she pales in comparison to this man.

This guy puts an escaped monkey look like a children’s circus story, because this guy knows about circuses, man. He knows because he is famous for one reason and one reason only- he had both his arms bitten off by a tiger.

The tiger had not escaped.

This guy went to see Duffy’s circus, and he thought ‘man, those tigers are RAD’, and so he decided to visit them. At night. Nobody knows for sure what made him put his arm into the tiger cage, maybe he wanted to pet the tiger, which is already a poor decision. The tiger responded by biting his hand off, which is probably tiger for ‘hello’. How did this guy react? The way any rational and sane human being would when a tiger has bitten your hand off.

He reached in with his other hand to get it back.

Now, you might be sitting there thinking ‘Sinead, nobody in the entire history of the world would be so stupid. You have made this story up.’ Well, I have to admit, that is what I thought at first. Until I met this guy in a pub, and he asked me to take his money out of his pocket for him, and I asked him how he lost his arms, and he said ‘Tiger did it’, and then told me the exact story I have told you. And if that is not enough for you, then I direct you to irishcircuses.org, and look up Duffy’s Circus. Have a look in ‘controversies’, and you will see this most beautiful pof paragraphs;

‘September 1995:
A man had both his arms ripped off by tigers at Duffy’s Circus near Galway. The incident happened at 4am and the circus claimed the man had broken into the animals’ trailer, reaching through a feeding gap under the bars to stroke them.
(Daily Express, 6 September 1995)’

So for everyone who thought the escaped monkey was the worst thing that could happen to a circus- rest assured you guys. It could have been worse.

Closer to home, did you know that the circus monkey is not the only exotic animal to have lived in our great town? It is not even the first exotic animal related urban legend to have lived in Banagher. Did you know that, once upon a time, thius town was home to possibly the most exotic of all animals? That incredibly rare, endangered species known as- The Invisible Camel.

Did he have a camel? Did he not have a camel? Nobody will ever know. All we can know for sure is that there was at least a hypothetical camel at every GAA match held in Banagher for several years. We know that people drove around looking for this camel, and we know they did not find it. Does this mean the camel did not exist?

I have a better theory.

I think the camel is in hiding, and has been for years. And I think that this invisible camel is harbouring a fugitive monkey. A set of circumstances that can only mean one thing for us all.

We’re gonna need a bigger trap.

Have you seen a monkey?

(Facts and Fictions in an Irish Landscape)

12th – 14th August 2011

Banagher, Co.Offaly

Have You Seen a Monkey? is an exciting contemporary art event taking place in the scenic town of Banagher, located on the river shannon, from 12th-14th August 2011.
Have you seen a monkey? will coincide with the Blue Breeze Music Festival taking place on the 13th Aug for further info see: http://www.newdawnpromotions.com/

For the art event a variety of artists will work within the locality to produce artworks in response to its location, including the aspects that make up its social, historical and metaphysical geneology.
This contemporary art event will be staged in different locations throughout the town.
Very often facts and fiction fuse in the Irish landscape; intermingling, overlapping, contradicting and reinforcing our belief in myth, legend, and the power of gossip.
Taking inspiration from the true story of a monkey who escaped from a circus and got lost in the town, and how it was retold by Banagher girl Sinead Dolan on her blog which highlights her strange encounters living in this rural town. “Have You Seen a Monkey?” invites you to join in exhibitions, video installations, performances, discussions, competitions, treasure-hunts, tall tales, court cases, picnics and boat races on the Shannon.

All events are free. For further info please visit:

www.haveyouseenamonkey.wordpress.com

….and keep your eyes peeled for that monkey!